The way back home
Yes, I had to go and leave everything I knew in order to face my inner demonds that were still hidden in my soul. Yes, it was a hard decision to make but I understand that life is based on the law of Evolutiion.
It will come a time when you may ask yourself why I don't communicate, why I stopped frequenting places in common, or why it seems like I forgot everything we had experienced. Just keep in mind that I didn't disappear, I'm simply healing. The best way to explain this is by the life's cycle of a butterfly: egg, caterpillar, pupa, and adult. My life was made of a set of values, ideas and desires (my egg stage) so I acted, based on them; and as a consequence, I created my piece of reality (my caterpillar stage). Caterpillars eat a lot and grow fast; so did I, together with mi piece of reality based on my set of ideas, beliefs and desires I had so far. In this caterpillar stage is when we, as human beings, are able to see the manifestation of our deepest thoughts; and it's at this stage when we discover, for good or bad, if our inner self was aligned with our true desire or, quite the opposite, if there was some emotional hidden wound that helped us create a piece of reality we didn't want.
Once the caterpillar stops growing, it becomes a pupa, also called chrysalis. When I say "I am healing" it means that I am in the chrysalis phase. Now, I have to get rid of my skin that helped me create that undesired piece of reality. Now, I have to dive into the darkness of my cocoon to listen to what my soul needs to say. Now, I must remain protected and at rest, I have to be alone, I must not move so to avoid distractions, I must discipline my mind with silence, I have no eyes or antennae, all my focus is on my darkness, my best teacher. She always brings new lessons. Darkness and silence. Everything is being prepared for the amazing metamorphosis to happen, the metamorphosis that will allow me to modify my presence in this physical world, to step in a new level of consciousness and to emerge as a beautiful butterfly. Then the cycle starts again!
Do no take it personal, it's my process, it's my path back home, it's my way of loving, of repairing, of alchemizing, of unlearning and learning. Transformations are changes, no one should try to go against life that is constantly evolving. I know myself, I know I will return stronger so as to accept the changes that such a significant metamorphosis carries, and wiser so as to trascend them.
I must go, the healing train is about to leave. I don't know how long it will take this journey, maybe I'll see you on the way back, maybe not; maybe you'll take your own train, or maybe not... and that's ok, your process is not the same as mine. However, I have a clear intuition that, sooner or later, we’re all heading towards the same final destination.
I have to say goodbye, I leave to heal.
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